Hey, Rap!

I've read this whole thread and don't have much to add. There's been a lot of good advice in here. The only things I'd offer is that none of us has the power to change someone else. It's difficult enough to change ourselves, and we are as deaf-eared to the wisdom of others as we feel others are to our advice. Anyone who has raised kids and gone through their teenage and young adult years discovers how limited we are in shaping the lives of others. And probably just as well. The cliche "Experience is the best teacher" has a lot of truth to it (as most cliches do.) There is a time when you have to let go, and pray (depending on your own spiritual life) that the person will find their way through the valley they're walking in to. And let them know that you'll still be there for them, without judgment if they need you. With nary an "I told you you souldn't have.."

It also sounds like you're taking your friend's new direction in life as a rejection of you. If that's the case, bad move, buddy. It's not about you. Seven years ago, I made a dramatic change in my life which was embraced by some friends, and attacked by others. It was a real revelation for me. The people who attacked me started each sentence with "I." I finally got fed up with them and said, "Excuse me... I thought we were talking about me, not you." Wherever your friend is headed, give thanks for the friendship you've had, because no one can take that away from you. If your friend is heading into destruction, you've done what you can to dissuade him/her.

Now, it's time to "Let It Be."

Jerry