PASSENGERS WILL PLEASE REFRAIN
(sung to the tune of Humoresque)

Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station, I love you.

We encourage constipation
While the train is in the station,
Moonlight always makes me think of you.

If you need to pass some water
Kindly call the Pullman porter,
He'll place a vessel in the vestibule.

If these measures are in vain,
Simply break a windowpane
This novel method's used by very few

As we go romping through the park
Goosing statues in the dark,
If Sherman's horse can take it, why can't you??

Somebody brought this to our song circle this evening. Somebody said there are other verses, including one about "hobos riding underneath" and "when knighthood was in flower and maidens lost their heads…." Anybody know the rest of those verses?

-Joe Offer-