You troublemakers ought to know that my husband Oliver has experienced a nervous collapse due to your unconscionable meddling with the Toypresidents website. He is undergoing treatment now in a nice, quiet facility where no one ever mentions the Internet. The Board of Directors of Toypresidents has met in the meantime and as you can see has taken firm action by allowing no further voting for Presidents of whom a figure has already been issued. I had pressured them on Oliver's behalf to reduce Millard Fillmore's tally of votes back to a nominal 520 votes (about where it was before this nonsense started), but they have made no decision on that as yet.

We intend to find out exactly who the ringleaders were in this phony "Vote for Millard Fillmore" campaign, and then bring them to justice.

Nancy Reagan is quite upset that the Fillmore backers and their ilk saw fit to push the votes for George Washington past Ronald Reagan in the last few days. "So soon they forget!" she said to me. I think it's a disgrace. If I had my way I would have the company tool up an action figure of this Catspaw49 individual, hanging upsidedown from a lampost like Mussolini, with a sign saying "Loser & Degenerate" stapled to his chest. We know what he looks like. We have investigated on your website. He is an ugly slob with a vague resemblance to that singer, John Denver.

Be prepared for further stern measures from the people at Toypresidents, who will not stand idly by while our sacred traditions are compromised by nitwits with too much time on their hands.

Prudence Whistlemore