Okay, Geoff, I guess I believe you. Apparently the River Crimple is not a figment of a tormented imagination.

What's it like? Clear, muddy, grassy-banked, lined with masonry, boatable?

Quack!
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s&r - it is hard enough already to talk about the differences between various forms of English speech without people fussing over the term 'British."

What am I supposed to call it? Argot of the United Kingdom? (that leaves out Ireland) Old-world neo-dialect?