With all due respect, Rabbi-Sol, the interpretation of Jewish law and customs around issues of intermarriage, may reflect your own ulta-Orthdox community, but they do not reflect the reality of modern Judaism -- Modern Orthodox, Conservative, Reconstuctionist and Refirm -- as practiced by the vast majority of Jews in the world today.

Excommunication, sitting Shiva for someone who intermarries, it doesn't happen in the modern world.

As you probably well know, the vast majority of conversions occur specifically because a Jew and his or her non-Jewish partner have decided to have a Jewish home and raise their children as Jews. Walk into the conversion classes at almost any synagogue in America, and virtually every student is engaged to a Jew.