I know a lovely tune about Ted Kennedy, appropriately titled "The Ode to Ted Kennedy".

(sung to the tune of "The Irish Washerwoman")

Oh, your mother is dead and your father is dead and your brother is dead and your brother is dead and your brother is dead and your wife is a drunk and your kid has one leg and your car doesn't float.

We're working on a second verse, beginning:

Oh, your nephew can't ski and your nephew can't fly...

any help on your part is appreciated.

Is that patronising enough?