Tonight I am thinking of the ugliness of life. We came home from a dreary party at midnight and found 23 calls from Lutheran Social Services. One of our kids that we had in foster care and loved a lot was thrown out of her house by her mother. M was calling to ask our help, we've always been there for her.

You see, she came to us when her adoptive mother couldn't take it any longer and quite literally told our agency that they had to do something.....this was 2 years after the adoption had been finalized...but I guess adopted kids are always able to be sent back huh? I AM SO GAWDDAMN BITTER RIGHT NOW(*&)Pdghsfgjumnjh hmnjhnjmhnjnjm

Anyway, our agency took her in and got some therapy and even a special school thing going for her. After a year and a half, Mom demands to get HER child back. Mom's a big mucky muck with the Wendy's company and Dave subsidizes employee adoptions. This couple had previously and sucessfully adopted another sibling group prior to M's. The problem was that M and her brother and sister were an INCREDIBLY bad match for this couple, but NO ONE could tell them so. So after shitting on us with anger and hostility, good old Mom got M back....and to the credit of M she has hung in and tried to play the game for 5 years. She is now 18. Mom said "Fuck you you little bitch...Go it ALONE"...so she's now at the center for the night, and safe. She has to leave at 7:30 in the morning and I will be there to pick her up. But she cannot stay here. We have a 17 year old male in care who is....well a 17 year old male. Plus we've been told several times in the past few years when M has shown up after a big bruhaha with her TRULY BITCH KITTY "Mother" that even when M is 18 she puts our foster license in jeopardy (# of adults in the home). She was severely physically and sexually abused from birth to age 5 when she originally entered foster care and living here with another teen is inviting disaster.........Jesus Christ..I got no idea what the hell we're going to do, but tomorrow we'll work hard on it....got some "maybe" ideas on living places, but none are too good or too solid..............awgawdam.She's a wonderful kid with lots of problems, but as sweet as they come and wonderful with small kids and MRDD folks. She's in Connie's Activity Therapist Program and will do a great job in that field someday. But now its all so fucki BLACKMMNNNNNQE4WFTZXDFDFVGFGVGGF

I gotta stop before I break the keyboard;.......I may be a little tied up for a few days.......and I don't know why I'm telling all this to y'all......Sorry

I just have a hard time seeing the beauty here sometimes..........Also why I ain't got a gun in the house cause right now I wanna' kill somebody!!!!!!When the hell are we going to get around to laws that are worth a shit in this country? When am I going to find a social worker with the balls to do the right thing AND keep their job!!!! sorry

Spaw