Oh, Spaw, I am so sorry and sad and angry for and with you. This is not good for your big ole heart, besides! You will find a solution, I am sure.

Your story reminds me so much of our little girl scout, from Columbia, who was aopted by a family with three older boys. After several years, the boys becoming teens and the girl having a mind of her own, the *mother* decided she just couldn't handle having a girl, even though that is exactly what they went looking for when they decided to adopt. The bytch was a high mucky muck just like yours. My co-leader and I tried as much as we could, through scouts, to help her self-esteem etc. but she had big time problems because of what Columbia had been like for her and then with the major rejection she was feeling from this *family* she was supposed to be a part of and had opened her heart up to trusting. I don't know what happened to Yolanda. I know she was beautiful, shy, but we did connect. I do know another scout we had, another beautiful girl, who had been through all kinds of weird life stuff and abuse, and was being raised by puritanical grandparents, wound up being a phone sex worker in Nevada. Some we can help, some just go beyond.

Pat, take a minute to breathe deep, listen to the Golden Ring Reunion, and let that blood pressure drop down and your heartbeat slow down, dearie. We are all sending you good thoguhts and remember how powerful that was last time? I will clal you later, today. Take care. We love you.

kat/SageWalker