Agreed. And I am in good company with you. It could well be that the vast majority of people in these types of arguments are in agreement without knowing it, often by ambiguous definitions. I consider myself a scientific believer (perhaps working in the opposite direction than you, with no meaningful difference in the end result.) But that is to believe in what? An oversoul? God? Jehovah? A conscious design of the detectable universe (or more or less)? I think people argue about those things when they actually only expressing the mystery in different terms.

If a scientific theory can rationally explain a natural phenomenon, I gravitate towards it as a chipping away at the mystery. Even if it explains a solar system without "conscious" design. Even if it explains plant life w/out conscious design. Even if it explains a barley understood phenomenon as consciousness? Absolutely. The mystery remains, so . . very . . large oh my god it's infinite!

I just accept that the infinite is beyond my comprehension (for now!) Call it whatever. I agree!