Bagpuss, let me try to clarify this once again. Yes, I have known and know now homosexual and bisexual people with many problems. Some severe, some not so severe.

I'd call the problems my 20yr old friend faces every day of his life semi-severe - from the difficulty he has finding and keeping decent employment in a straight world, to personal harassment and vandalism of his property (a common occurence), to the regular visits to doctors and health clinics for sex-related injuries and fear of AIDS, to the lack of formal education due to (self-chosen) years on the street as a child prostitute/drug runner.

I'd consider being found HIV positive a "severe" problem, and I do hope he avoids the worst.

But by far, the biggest collection of people with severe or semi-severe problems I've known are not gay but straight. The (big) difference is that unfortunately, ALL of the gays I've known fit into this category, keeping company with only about 35% (or so) of the straights.

Hence my concern when people try to deny or minimize the "gay factor". Denying it in any way is highly irresponsible behavior, and it benefits no one.

Here's a testimonial from an Adult child of a gay parent. He belongs to a support group called "Pink Parents". The last few paragraphs of his story follow:

... There was an incident that tipped me over the edge just a few weeks after my dad died. I was working and got talking to this girl. It came out who my dad was and she just laughed. She said "Your dad didn't have any kids. He was the biggest poof in Yorkshire." An awful lot of people were unaware he'd ever had children.

Following this incident, I fell to pieces. I was extremely promiscuous, took a lot of drugs and drank like a mad man. I spent the next few years on this downward spiral. Eventually in my mid twenties, I attempted suicide. This was a wake up call for me and it made me determined to get my life back together. I got into university and gained a good degree. I'm now doing a job I love that is very rewarding. That said, I'm still a wreck emotionally. I suffer from severe bouts of depression and am constantly battling suicidal thoughts. I suppose this stems from my sense of not belonging, the feeling that I shouldn't be here. I find it impossible to form close meaningful relationships, although I have no trouble making friends.

I am determined to get better. I've recently been trying to contact other people who have gay parents. I'm hoping to set up a website to aid this. I'm also about to begin some Cognitive Analytical Therapy. This is in an attempt to unravel my problems and to find a way of dealing with them, so that I can live a contented life. This is all that anybody wants I am sure.

I think the young man speaks for himself quite well. To balance the picture, I'll add some hopeful stories from kids "growing up gay" right now.

This last site sounds a lot more positive. I only hope that the studies and statistics quoted are honest, not selectively chosen or skewed to paint the rosiest picture possible.

daylia