I've often thought it absurd that there are no regulations covering who can actually PRODUCE children! Seriously, considering what a responsibility it is (or should be) one would think some kind of perparation would be in order.

Heck! We have to pass a test to get a driver's license, is raising children easier???

But of course that isn't going to happen, is it? People would scream bloody murder if they thought their natural rights were being tampered with.

Yet the adoption procedure (even for ANIMALS) is stringent on many counts. It has to be shown that the family is monetarily secure and psychologically sound.

That indeed makes much sense to me, but-isn't there a real Irony about this?


Ellenpoly, thank you. It's a relief to see that someone on this thread really understands where my concerns were coming from. I mustn't have done such a bad job trying to express myself after all.

Bagpuss is right - it's not adoptive parents (gay or straight) who present the greatest risk to kids. At least they are publicly screened!

It's the people who put their own urges and wants ahead of the best interests of any kids they produce. The ones who'd use a baby as a meal ticket, or to boost their self-esteem. Those children get even less protection than the abandoned animals at the Humane Society. Everyone around them "minds their own business" until the worst happens - and by then the damage has already been done.

That's how the baby I knew died. Her landlady - a friend of mine - had suspected that she wasn't being cared for properly and had tried, tactfully, to make helpful suggestions and offer assistance a couple times. It's child-mother just ignored her. And while my friend was humming and hawing, struggling with the social "norm" of MYOB when it comes to other people and their families, getting up the nerve to call the Children's Aid - the baby died.

Oh, by the way I was looking through the journals I kept at the time, and that baby was not 4 but 11 weeks old when it died. I remembered it as younger, it was so very tiny - and I just wanted to clear that up.

A couple weeks ago, my 20yr old friend had introduced me to two of his teenage "street-sisters", and told me later they'd offered themselves as surrogate moms (for a fee of course) whenever he and his partner wanted a kid. He said he had a couple other street buddies back in Toronto willing to do the same thing.

Old-fashioned bigoted codger that I am, I found this idea more than a little worrisome, and started posting on this thread a couple days later. And now I see that if I want to help, the best I can do is just to be there for him, no matter what happens - NOT to argue (uselessly) about whether or not he or others in his situation should be "allowed" to carry out plans like these.

...But maybe the friggin' thread could be used to address the friggin' subject. It matters. It's not so easy. Heterosexual marriage and family is up there with the ancient verities, as Faulkner called them. It's a big friggin' deal, after all, isn't it? Here it is knocking at the door. It's not hunger, granted, but it is what it is. The Norm--it's not easy and natural, people work very hard to uphold it, as a value in their lives, and here come very different terms. It matters.

... But I don't come down so hard that I blame people, too much, for reservations.

Fred, you are RIGHT ON. Thanks for being so understanding and posting what you did.

On the other hand, I think the trouble with calling people bigots, is... I don't know, aren't we? to some extent, most of us? A bit? No?

Yes I think we are, Fred. It's called 'cultural conditioning'. Sociologists call it personal bias, and take painstaking measures to compensate for it in their research methods. It's a natural part of what every human being is, how every human being learns.

Oh, and if you're serious about doubting if gays really do engage in anal intercourse, I suggest you simply type the word "gays" in your Google search-bar, and click on "Images".


daylia

PS I'm just gonna hafta look up a Kathy Bates movie now! And hey, maybe adding little rhetorical questions at the end of sentences is a Canadian trait, eh?