>   REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
>
>   New York, NY
>
>   6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
>
>   6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
>
>   6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
> Amendment)
>
>   6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
>
>   6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really
> Necessary?"
>
>   7:30 PM Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan
>
>   7:35 PM Trent Lott - "Re-segregation in the 21st Century"
>
>   7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner
>
>   8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
>
>   8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
>
>   8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
>
>   8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
>
>   8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
>
>   9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
>
>   9:05 PM Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"
>
>   9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
>
>   9:30 PM break for secret meetings
>
>   10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas
>
>   10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple
>
>   10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk
> Macho Even
> When You Feel Squishy Inside
>
>   10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
>
>   10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity
> Belt
>
>   10:45 PM GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi
> Rice
>
>   10:46 PM Ann Coulter's Tribute to "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot"
>
>   10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy
>
>   11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
>
>   11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult
>
>   11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
>
>   11:35 PM Blame Clinton
>
>   11:40 PM Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"
>
>   11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore
>
>   11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
>
>   12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
> Overlord