Yeah, Bill, Goodman does a great job on "Auctioneer." I see we don't have the lyrics posted for that classic. These are almost the lyrics Goodman sings. There's a live recording on the Steve Goodman No Big Surprise anthology.
-Joe Offer-

THE AUCTIONEER, ©1956 by Leroy Van Dyke
(Auction call and other spoken parts as transcribed by a fan)

Hey well all right sir, open the gate
And let'em out and walk'em boys
Here we come and let in number twenty-nine
What are you gonna give for the little fella?

I want a 5 dollar, want a bid
Would ya bid it on a 5 on a 5 on a 5 would ya bid it on a 25?
Got a 25 dollar would ya bid it on 5 on the 5
Would ya bid it on a 30 dollar 5 on 5 would ya bid it on a 5
Would ya bid it on a 35?

Well there was this boy from Arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him that he should go to school
Well he'd sneak away in the afternoon and take a little walk and pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn
Well he'd stand and listen carefully until at last he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
Well he said "Oh my, it's do or die, I've got to learn that auction cry
Gonna make my mark and be an auctioneer"

25 dollar bid ya now 30 dollar 30
will ya make it 30, bid it on a 30 dollar 30 dollar
Will ya give me 30, will ya give me 30 dollar bill?
I got a 30 dollar bid ya now
5 will ya bid it on a 35, bid it on a 35, 35
Who's gonna bid it on a 35 dollar bill?

Well the time went by and he did his best and all could see he did not jest
He practiced calling bids both night and day
Well his pappy found him behind the barn just a-working up an awful storm
As he tried to imitate the auctioneer
Then his pop said "Son we just can't stand to have a mediocre man
Selling things at auction using our good name
Well I'm gonna send you off to auction school and then you'll be nobody's fool
And you can take your place among the best"

35 dollar bid ya now 40 dollar 40
will ya make it 40, bid it on a 40 dollar 40 dollar
Will ya give me 40, will ya give me a 40 dollar bill?
I got a 40 dollar bid ya now
5 will ya beat it on a 45, bid it on a 45, 45
Who's gonna bid it at a 45 dollar bill?

Well from that boy that went to school there grew a man who played it cool
Well he come back home a full fledged auctioneer
And the people would come from miles around
Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound
That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer
Then his fame spread out from shore to shore
He'd all that he could do and more
He had to buy a plane to get around
Well now he's the best in all the land, let's pause and give that man a hand
'Cause he's the best of all the auctioneers

45 dollar bid ya now 50 dollar 50
will ya make it 50, bid it on a 50 dollar 50 dollar
Will ya give me 50, will ya give me a 50 dollar bill?
I got a 50 dollar bid ya now
5 will ya beat it on a 55, bid it on a 55, 55
Who's gonna bid it at a 55 dollar bill?

Well I sold that hog for a 50 dollar bill



lyrics copied from http://www.mageenet.net/Lyrics/TheAuctioneer.txt