HUNTING SONG
(Tom Lehrer)


I always will remember
'Twas a year ago November
I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear

I went and shot the maximum the Game Laws would allow:
Two Game Wardens, seven hunters, and a cow!

I was in no mood to trifle
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey
What a haul I made that day!

I tied them to my fender and I drove them home somehow:
Two Game Wardens, seven hunters, and a cow!

The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit
The worst punishment I ever endured

It turned out there was a reason:
Cows were out of season
And one of the hunters wasn't insured

People ask me how I do it
And I say, "There's nothing to it!
I just stand there looking cute...
And when something moves, I shoot!"

And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now:
Two Game Wardens...
Seven hunters...
And a pure-bred Guernsey cow!