I have it on good authority that jOhn from Hull went careening through the conjestion charge zone in London on the back of an antiquated steam-powered vehicle of some sort which was not equipped with modern safety devices, lacked an up to date license plate, and had offensive slogans painted on its sides, such as "Shag the Bloody Princess of Wales!" and "Ken Livingston's a stupid git!".

He furthermore ran a red light and made an obscene gesture at an old lady as he ran over her Dandy Dinmont.

Yes, I have this on very good authority indeed. You'd never guess.

Mrs Olive Whatnoll told me all about it. :-)

If you ask me, this jOhn from Hull bloke is in big trouble and should consider emigrating to Iceland without delay.