Well, I checked in last night to see if it could be my turn again, and the circle had been fairly quiet. It is now almost lunch time here in Montana on Saturday, so I am going to go ahead with the waitress song. Source is a little booklet called "Songs of the Pioneers" price, $1.50, ©1970 by Albert E. Brumley & Sons.

MY MOTHER WAS A LADY

Two drummers* they were seated in a grand ballroom one day
While dining they were chatting in a jovial sort of way.
There came a pretty waitress to bring a tray of food
They spoke to her familiarly in a manner rather rude.
At first she did not notice, nor make the least reply,
But one remark they made to her brought teardrops to her eye.
She turned on her tormentors, her cheeks were blushing red.
Then posing as a picture... this is what she said:

chorus
My mother was a lady, and yours I would allow.
Perhaps you have a sister who needs protection now.
I came to this great city to find my brother dear.
You wouldn't dare insult me, sir, if brother Jack were here.
(*traveling salesmen, drumming up business)

pass the cheesecake, please. Alice in Montana