Aint sending you chocs, but the thought is there.

(no apologies to Les Barker)
One day, during a choir practise at church, one of the ladies of the choir was seen playing cards and scoffing chocs from a box she had concealed within her robe. The choirmaster was most displeased and said, "Why are you playing cards and eating chocolates in church?" To which she replied, "Look mate, these cards and chocolates are a set. They are my prayer book, my almanac, my calendar, and my bible. AND they are MY chocolates.
"How so?" said the choirmaster, (who was not quite "the ticket" if you see what I mean)
"Well, you see sir," said the lady (with a twinkle in her eye from knowing she was onto a right barn pot)
When I look at the Ace, I think "Aces are high" so I get high on chocolate.
When I see the two, it reminds me that there are two sorts of chocolate, milk & plain
When I see the trey, I think of Cadbury's Milk.
When I see the four, it reminds me of the four apostles, Nestlé, Cadbury, Fry's & Mars.
When I see the five, it reminds me of teatime, and a box of assorted biscuits.
When I see the six, it reminds me that chocolate is better than six.
When I see the seven, it reminds me of an old Austin 7 motorcar, which is an old crock.
Crock rhymes with choc, so I pop one in my mouth.
When I see the eight, I ate another one.
When I see the nine, it reminds me of After Eight Mints.
When I see the ten, I remember that there is nothing but news on TV at this time, so I go and make myself a chocolate drink.
When I see the Jack, I am reminded of a flat tyre. When I am deflated, I eat chocolate.
When I see the Queen, I think, "She's putting on weight, I bet she eats chocolates"
When I see the King, I remember that Elvis died from eating too many hamburgers, so I stick to chocolate.
When I count up the number of picture cards, it comes to twelve, plus two jokers. No joker is having MY chocolates!
There are thirteen tricks. So I perform a disappearing trick with a Flake and two Maltesers
There are four suits, and I remember I left my Mars Bar in the pocket of the grey one.
There are 365 spots. The number of days in the year that you can eat chocolate.
There are 52 cards. The number of liquorice allsorts in a box.

So you see, sir, I am having a good time with my chocs. Don't you go spoiling it, or I will wipe my sticky hands on your nice white surplus and you can explain THAT to your wife!