Time to sign off and bid farewell to all the friends I've met on this thread.

To Folkiedave - thanks for your support and your words of wisdom. By the way, I saw Sheffield City Morris at Warwick this summer, and was impressed by the dancing and the kit – those braces are fab. Also saw the Sheffield Giants at Whitby a couple of years ago – wow, what a spectacle! (But it must be devilish hot inside those costumes.)

To Ann Croucher – I think I understand your point of view (even if my ancestors did come from Alpha Centauri). But I'm not sure that you've fully understood mine.   I believe that free-form dancing to please oneself, AND organised dancing to please an audience, are BOTH good things.   But I also think that (usually) they don't mix well.    I love cauliflower cheese … and I love vanilla ice-cream with chocolate sauce… but not at the same time.   I don't want to pour melted cheese on your ice cream … please don't pour chocolate sauce on my cauliflower.

To Geoff the Duck – I've enjoyed your banjo playing, and Mrs Duck's singing on numerous occasions, so have no wish to fall out with you. Moreover, I have heard from several independent sources that Whitby Scratch Morris were at one time an impressive outfit, who made a valuable contribution to the Festival. However, I can only judge them on what I've seen over the past few years, and have to confess that watching their dancing has given me very little pleasure as yet.   But taste is a personal matter – maybe they're doing it right, and I'm just a nit-picking old curmudgeon. Anyhow, if they enjoy their dancing, and have an audience that enjoys watching them do it, then jolly good luck to them.   

As to the events at Whitby in 2003 - well, I was there, and saw them happen. Some members of Scratch Morris did gate-crash a spot which was supposed to be part of the official dance programme, and did refuse to move on when politely requested to do so.   And some members of Scratch Morris (or persons masquerading as such) did attempt to disrupt the parade. Some of them did physically harass members of one particular team (against whom they seemed to have a grudge). This could quite easily have caused an accident.   Now it may be that these trouble-makers were not 'proper' members of Scratch Morris at all (it's difficult to tell when the team doesn't have a recognisable kit of its own). Nevertheless, immediately after the parade ended one of the most prominent figures in Scratch Morris came over and made a formal apology for their behaviour to members of the team who had been victimised. I rest my case.

With goodwill to all, and malice towards none, farewell and Wassail!

Mike Sutton: Hexham Morris Men