I remember that, Peg. It was during the first couple months after I joined the Mudcat, when I was still a newbie to computers and had next to no experience on the internet. As I recall, the fight was about Pres Bush reading from the Bible after the astronauts were killed in the shuttle disaster. I had perceived your comments as a vehement attack on Christianity itself , and assumed that you were one of those disgruntled ex-Christian "new-ager" types I've found it quite a challenge to be around in the past. It was only after this misperception had escalated into a slugfest that I recognized the source of our "problem" as cultural - ie the differences between your environment and mine.
That fight was a great example of WYSISYG's observation above.
WHere I live, fundamentalist Christianity is not now nor has it ever been a social /political issue. For example, if the Prime Minister were to include a verse from the Bible in a public address, as a measure of condolence in response to a national tragedy, I doubt it would occur to anyone to perceive this as a covert political maneover.
When I'd learned more about the very different situation where you live and "walked a mile in your moccasins", I realized that if I were in your position I would most likely be sharing your concerns, angers and fears - not arguing with you! But by that time, pride and ego had become involved to such an extent I doubt you would have accepted an olive branch even if I could have offered you one.
I cannot undo the past, but I can change the present. I am dead serious about the "behavior modication" I spoke of in my first post. What does not kill me only makes me stronger ... and hopefully, wiser and more loving too. Thanks for that, and for your input on anger management too Foolestroupe. :-)
The only useful purpose in annoying an opponent is if this is a means of weakening them.
Yes. And especially when the topic of discussion includes the "spiritual", what better way to weaken your "opponents" than by attempting to evoke the least desirable of human character traits - anger, hate, violence etc - from them!
According to the principles of Verbal Aikido, one way around this is to practice choosing a different perspective. To stop thinking of the situation as either/or win/lose. To practice the and/or "your approach is different but complementary to mine" perspective instead. To find non-injurious ways of presenting and supporting your alternative or conflicting points of view. I do like this approach, and it does seem to help.