You are so right, Amos. You have never been righter. That's what I love about this poem. McGonagall somehow manages to completely gap out on practically everything significant Edward Teach ever did...on his ramshackle way to describing the last violent incident in Blackbeard's notorious and colorful life. Thus he holds to the McGonagall standard: write very badly, very floridly, and very clumsily, and emphasize the mundane in an incongrous fashion while attempting to express a grand and universally sweeping view of events in the tradition of great literature. The man is astounding.

Oh, God! "Chuzzlewit!" That is so perfect. I nearly fall out of my chair as I type. I am turning red in the face and my eyes are watering!

Amos, you have a capacity for wit that is only exceeded by your generally erudite and gentlemanly nature.

Either that or you just don't get it.

Man, I have gotta tell you about my real heroes sometime. You're beginning to worry me.