Wildone, your stories of your mom deserve a more dignified (and easier to load) thread. I wish I had been able to tape my grandparents, parents, and uncles before they passed away.

In the vein of more jabs at US follies......

Bill and Hillary are out driving in the country near

Hillary`s hometown. They are low on fuel, so Bill pulls

into a gas station for a fill-up. The attendant comes out

and begins to pump gas into the 'First Couple's' tank. As he

is doing this, he looks into the passenger window. "Hey,

Hillary. We used to date in high school, do you remember

me?," he asks. They chat for a few minutes, Bill pays, and

the first couple leaves.

As they drive Bill is feeling very proud of himself and looks over at Hillary. "You used to date that guy? Just think

what it would be like if you had married him!," he says smugly.

Hillary looks at Bill and shrugs. Then she replies, "Well,

I guess you'd be pumping gas and he would be the President."

----

LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES!.....in addition to Melissa......

LEWINSKY VIRUS:
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS:
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS:
Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS:
Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS:
Deletes all old files.

TITANIC VIRUS (A strain of the LEWINSKY virus):
Your whole computer goes down.

DISNEY VIRUS:
Everything in your computer goes GOOFY.

PROZAC VIRUS:
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS:
Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS:
Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS:
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5-inch floppy then discards it through Windows.

VIAGRA VIRUS:
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

CLINTON VIRUS:
Gives you a 7-inch hard drive with no memory.