Arrggh, Cap'n. "Talk Like A Pirate Day" be's the right time to parlay 'bout this sad, mizzerble perdicament yer in.   Make sure yer sawbones tries all the pirate remedies afore splittin' yer gibbet. There's plank walkin', keel haulin', bilge dippin' just to name a few.

And don't ya go gettin' yer knickers all bound up in a bunch o'er this uncharted course ye seem to be on.   Yer a crusty ol' salt and ye've weathered many a gale afore this. So keep yer eye on the horizon and show yer lovely new shipmate how best to deal with rough waters.

Me and the little woman will keep a shore light burning brightly for ya along with yer many other friends. We'll share us a pint of somethin' dark and foamy when next we cross paths at the Getaway. Arrggh.

Pirate Mike