Schlosnagle is perfect! Schnepswacker and Schlosnagle...the Dream Team!!!

These two men have clearly been chosen by the Allmighty to lead America out of its malaise into a new age of peace and prosperity.

Unlike Bush and Kerry, Goralden Schnepswacker knows exactly who and what is a threat to America, and he knows exactly what to do about it. Attack 'em all! That's right, you heard it here. Goralden Schnepswacker will not pussyfoot around attacking a little country here, a little country there every couple of years or so. No siree! He will attack EVERY dang godless country that is secretly conspiring to damage America...and that means...dang near ALL of 'em. Yup. Think about it. The French hate America. Everybody knows that. The Dutch are trying to drown America. The Germans are trying to get even for the two World Wars. The Russians have always hated America. The Chinese are even worse. Then there's India! Don't get me started on India. Even Mexico has it in for America. Spain is thirsting for revenge over 1898. All Arabs hate America. Most Africans hate America. What European doesn't hate America?

You see where this is leading, don't you?

We are wasting our time shilly-shallying around taking out piddly little places like Iraq and Afghanistan. It's time to go for "The Big One" and take 'em ALL out at once, and Goralden Schnepswacker has the guts to do it!

He talks with God every night. So does Schlosnagle. God has promised them to get it right this time.

Put aside your doubts and get behind these men, because they will deliver you from darkness into a brave new world where everything is exactly the way you remember it on great shows like "Father Knows Best" and "Leave it to Beaver".

Yes sireee! Get on the bandwagon now and help America BE American!