The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #73545   Message #1276165
Posted By: Liz the Squeak
20-Sep-04 - 03:14 AM
Thread Name: BS: jokes about nagging wives
Subject: RE: BS: jokes about nagging wives
Not necessarily nagging wives (I'm a bit biased in that point, men nag just as much as women) but some good one-liners in general about 'Marriage, word or sentence?'

>A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
>The next day he received a hundred letters.
>They all said the same : "You can have mine."

>A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
>"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
>A billionaire." she replied,

>A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said," Dad! I've found a
>woman just like mother"
>His father replied, "So what do you want? sympathy?"

>Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
>Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

>If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
>you say, talk in your sleep.

>I married Mr Right. I just didn't know his first name was Always.

>It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems

>Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

>A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful
>house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman - and then, BAM!, it was
>all gone!"
>What happened?" asked his friend. "My wife found out..."

>Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
>they had no faults at all.

>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

>Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
>They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

>How do most men define marriage?
>An expensive way to get your laundry done free.

>The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it

>Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute

>First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
>Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.

Subject: Why?

> Are single women thin and married women not?
> Single women come in, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come in, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge!


The opinions in this selection are not necessarily those of the poster..... however, No.7 is pretty close.