The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #73616   Message #1277920
Posted By: Amos
21-Sep-04 - 11:35 PM
Thread Name: BS: Michael Moore Speaks to Democrats
Subject: BS: Michael Moore Speaks to Democrats
I can't vouch for the validity of it but it sounds right:

ut Away Your Hankies...a Message from Michael Moore
    MichaleMoore.com

      Monday 20 September 2004

      Dear Friends,

      Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying! Do I have to come
there and personally calm you down? Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush IS
a goner -- IF we all just quit our whining and bellyaching and stop shaking
like a bunch of nervous ninnies. Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans
are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are
finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"

      Hell no. It's never over for them until the last ballot is shredded.
They are never finished -- they just keeping moving forward like sharks that
never sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking, lying.

      They are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them -- they
just simply never, ever give up. Only 30% of the country calls itself
"Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses
of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do
you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a
minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for
breakfast and then spend the rest of the day wreaking havoc on the planet.

      Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a bounce after his
convention and you would have thought the Germans had run through Poland
again. The Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught
Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found the frequency in Dan
Rather and ran with it. Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS
FALLING!"

      No, it is not. If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate
Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate --
he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose
the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading
up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't
run -- and neither do you or I. People like Kerry run.

      Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass
campaign. Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony
swifty boaty bastards down. But WE are not running for president -- Kerry
is. So quit complaining and work with what we have. Oprah just gave 300
women a... Pontiac! Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and
screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy.
The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more
than that, well, I can't help you. I had a Pontiac once and it lasted a good
year. And it was a VERY good year.

      My friends, it is time for a reality check.

      1. The polls are wrong. They are all over the map like diarrhea. On
Friday, one poll had Bush 13 points ahead -- and another poll had them both
tied. There are three reasons why the polls are b.s.: One, they are polling
"likely voters." "Likely" means those who have consistently voted in the
past few elections. So that cuts out young people who are voting for the
first time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely going to vote in THIS
election. Second, they are not polling people who use their cell phone as
their primary phone. Again, that means they are not talking to young people.
Finally, most of the polls are weighted with too many Republicans, as
pollster John Zogby revealed last week. You are being snookered if you
believe any of these polls.

      2. Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team. Instead of shunning Clinton
(as Gore did), Kerry has decided to not make that mistake.

      3. Traveling around the country, as I've been doing, I gotta tell ya,
there is a hell of a lot of unrest out there. Much of it is not being
captured by the mainstream press. But it is simmering and it is real. Do not
let those well-produced Bush rallies of angry white people scare you. Turn
off the TV! (Except Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers -- everything else is just a
sugar-coated lie).

      4. Conventional wisdom says if the election is decided on "9/11" (the
fear of terrorism), Bush wins. But if it is decided on the job we are doing
in Iraq, then Bush loses. And folks, that "job," you might have noticed, has
descended into the third level of a hell we used to call Vietnam. There is
no way out. It is a full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will
sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry meant by his original war
vote, he ain't the one who sent those kids to their deaths -- and Mr. and
Mrs. Middle America knows it. Had Bush bothered to show up when he was in
the "service" he might have somewhat of a clue as to how to recognize an
immoral war that cannot be "won." All he has delivered to Iraq was that
plasticized turkey last Thanksgiving. It is this failure of monumental
proportions that is going to cook his goose come this November.

      So, do not despair. All is not over. Far from it. The Bush people need
you to believe that it is over. They need you to slump back into your easy
chair and feel that sick pain in your gut as you contemplate another four
years of George W. Bush. They need you to wish we had a candidate who didn't
windsurf and who was just as smart as we were when WE knew Bush was lying
about WMD and Saddam planning 9/11. It's like Karl Rove is hypnotizing you
-- "Kerry voted for the war...Kerry voted for the war...Kerrrrrryyy
vooootted fooooor theeee warrrrrrrrrr..."

      Yes...Yes...Yesssss....He did! HE DID! No sense in fighting now...what
I need is sleep...sleeep...sleeeeeeppppp...

      WAKE UP! The majority are with us! More than half of all Americans are
pro-choice, want stronger environmental laws, are appalled that assault
weapons are back on the street -- and 54% now believe the war is wrong. YOU
DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM OF ANY OF THIS -- YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE
THEM A RAY OF HOPE AND A RIDE TO THE POLLS. CAN YOU DO THAT? WILL YOU DO
THAT?

      Just for me, please? Buck up. The country is almost back in our hands.
Not another negative word until Nov. 3rd! Then you can bitch all you want
about how you wish Kerry was still that long-haired kid who once had the
courage to stand up for something. Personally, I think that kid is still
inside him. Instead of the wailing and gnashing of your teeth, why not hold
out a hand to him and help the inner soldier/protester come out and defeat
the forces of evil we now so desperately face. Do we have any other choice?

      Yours,

      Michael Moore