Tony Blair dies and goes to heaven. Wandering around the place he comes across the Room of Lifetimers - a room full of clocks with names under them of every living person. However, he notices that some of them periodically skip forward five minutes. He asks the bloke on the desk "So, why's that happening then?" The bloke on the desk says "Well, you see, every time you tell a lie, we take five minutes off your life." Tony looks around - "Yep, there's Jack Straw, Geoffrey Robinson, Peter Mandelson, George Dubya..... hang on, where's Alastair Campbell's?" The bloke replies " Look at the ceiling. We use it as a fan!"