The Giok version, to the the tune of Maria from West Side Story.

Diarrhoea, I just kissed a girl with diarhoea
And suddenly that name will never be the same to me
Diarrhoea, say it loud and your friends go rushing
Say it soft, you can hear cisterns flushing
Diarrhoea, will I never stop going diarrhoea
All the beautiful sounds of the earth in a single
PHHHHAARRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Diarrhoeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Go on sing it; you won't catch anything.

Giok