Well, there's the old, old one about the three elderly ladies out in the field digging up some vegetables. One of them pulls up a carrot and looks at it nostalgically.

"Reminds me of my old man."

The other two stare. One says: "Is it the size of it?"

"Noooo."

The other: "Is it the colour of it, the rosy red of it?"

"Nooooo."

"Is it the shape of it, with all the knobbles and bobbles and twists and turns of it, and the green mossy stuff hanging off the end of it?"

"Nooooooo."

"Well, what is it, then, a chailín?"

"It's the *dirt* of it."