I can't abide (Tune: Abide with me)

I can't abide the government's front bench,
send them away to the Germans or the French
I can't abide Costello's shallow sneer --
won't someone make the bastard disappear?
I can't abide that bloody awful Kemp,
bring back the gallows, the hangman and the hemp
Take Peter Reith and dump him in the tide.
Him I particularly can't abide
Poor little John deserves our sympathy,
born neath the burden of mediocrity
Pat his wee head and send him off to bed,
then hide the key lest he abide with me
I can't abide the government's ministry,
Senator Vanstone's worse than dysentry
Send her away without the least delay --
don't pour the tea lest she abide with me
Sink them the swine, an iceberg would be fine.
Far, far away in distant Hudson Bay
As they go down they'll warble while they drown,
flat and off-key, they'll be despised by me
I can't abide the government's front bench,
send them away to the Germans or the French
Take Peter Reith and dump him in the tide.
Him I particularly can't abide

By John Dengate