Gloat: I have identical twin sons who, when know one is watching, will sing with harmony that rivals The Everly Brothers.

Moan: They won't sing on request, ever.

Gloat: My daughter will graduate with a degree in Technical Theatre Arts and a second major in Phylosophy from SUNY Oswego this year, Magna Cum Laude.

Moan: She isn't little anymore.

Kids, can't eat them, can't legally sell them.

Don