Seems to me that if someone has a bomb implanted within them all the airport security in the world will fail. Actually, you're allowed on planes with belts, pens, pencils, shoelaces, and all sorts of stuff that can be used as weapons.

But, take Spaw. Suppose he's got a bomb implanted in him, one that requires him to light a fuse or something to detonate it. If he tries that, folks around him are most likely, these days, gonna sit on him until the aircrew comes along with a shot of valium and plastic handcuffs. Prior to 9/11/01 this might not have happened, but Things Have Changed.

We flew back to ID from Providence, RI last week. My wife had her (thin-soled, not atheletic style) sneakers inspected "because they met the profile." There was NO metal in them, but "they met the profile." My Sperry Topsiders flew through, on my feet, without a blip. These soles are just as think as her's.

My response to much of this is "Official Paranoia That Makes Politicians Feel Good."

Spaw, can you work the ticking into a piece of music? Maybe "The Syncopated Clock" or "My Grandfather's Clock" or something?