Chris Wood's rewrite is one of the loveliest songs I have ever heard:

If all you young girls were like hares on the mountain
We'd soon get our boots on and go out a-walking.
But if all you young girls were like swans in the water
We'd soon take those boots off and dive in there after.

And if all you young girls were like stars in the dark
We'd chase round the world to avoid the dawn's spark.
And if all you young girls were like the sun in the morning
We'd sit bleary-eyed just to see the day dawning.

And if all you young girls were like rain from the sky
We'd stand out in T-shirts and shun all things dry.
And if all you young girls were like the hot August sun
Then we'd sit out with ice-cream and get nothing done.

And if all you young girls flew south like the swallow
There's be nothing for it but to up sticks and follow.
But if all you young girls were like my own true lover
Then all you young men would love them as I love her.

(C J Wood)