These sentioments, I must confess, doth make my heart but burst
Anyone who doesn't like it I say is cursed,
And how also this Statue doth but move me to write effulgent rhyme
Such effluent words which flow with ever winding appreciation sublime

Morality is more elegant by the metre,
Tho I hope in weathers cold they'll put a heater
Beneath the freezing stone upon which Our Robbie resides
Some warmth for the buttocks of fond admirers 'twould provide

Fellow-citizens, this Statue is so beautiful I could sing,
But let the council not give cold comfort to the ring,
Of those who place their derriere with cheek
To sit beneath the Bard and have a peek

again I exhort, to all and to asunder
that never in fair rhyme should all men chunder
instead producing such fair and uplifting verses
that shall fill our hearts, like gold fills the good man's purses.

and remember wisely, those whose hearts are fu' o care
the greatest happiness you can truly bear
is to remember that happiness itself
lies, like many women, quietly waiting on the shelf.

and all you have to do is reach and take
and then you can but eat it, AND the cake
and just like our Robbie, quietly digest
eventually you will eliminate the rest.