I would call mine Please Puke Outside.

I would have grand live music on the weekends a poetry session some nights...maybe even a movie once in a while....also it would have good food...fish...burgers...lambchops...and a veggie menu...also the chips would be as thick as my wrist and as big as my hand...and you would get a huge platter of them as a stand alone...and a plate of them as a side. It would serve cider...good beer...some of it brewed there...and the rest imported from england and ireleand....and it would have lots of whiskey and other hard liquors and scantily clad barmaids...