As to women singing shanties (because I do):

1. Traditionally, shanties were not sung off of a ship. They're work songs. Singing them in a pub isn't traditional.

2. If you're singing caucasian shanties, they were likely not sung in harmony.

3. There were probably quite a few tone-deaf sailors joining in. Being on pitch is not traditional.

4. It isn't traditional to learn shanties from a book or a recording or a guy at the pub. You must learn them from a shanty singer, on a ship.

5. If there were female cabin boys, female ramblin' sailors and even female captains, why not female shanty men? A higher voice would carry better and cut through noise, and shantymen didn't have to heave or haul, just sing. Just maybe there needs to be a song about one...

So basically, I'm not any less traditional than you, unless you're on a sailing ship, singing in unison and somewhat off-key to do a traditional ship-board job, and you learned the shanty from someone else singing under the same circumstances. It probably has to be sometime in the early part of the previous century or before, too.

As to good shanties for women, find ones you like and sing 'em loud. If people get offended, they don't have to join in. There's always "Tommy's Gone to Hilo" ("My Tommy's gone, what shall I do?") which always seemed a bit affectionate for a big, hairy, macho sailor.