1. It worries me that I already knew about Martin and the whore under the El.

2. I quit school and walked home on my sixteenth birthday.

3. My name is the name I was born with.

4. I can't wear watches, either.

5. Every member of my immediate family has been slated for a surgery they didn't need, some of them for more than one, including a mastectomy and a hysterectomy.

6. I haven't had a nightmare since I was 7, and remember the last one, when an 8' godzilla licked my face like a puppy.

7. I know of a Latvian man in Mississippi with the exact same scars on his left hand as I have on mine.

8. I know what the absolute worst thing you can say to a woman in bed is.

9. I'm always in the car behind Partridge, trying to get my kids to school on time, when she lets 3 or more cars in, and two of those cars always contain people who turn out to know each other, and stop, blocking both lanes, to chat and catch up on things.

10. I give up on things I can actually do, but am tenacious at things that are utterly beyond me.

11. My wife appointed a wife-runner-up for me, in case she is unable to fulfill her duties.