1 I have been to every continent

2 I have prepared dinner for 2 presidents and the Heir to the Hapsburg throne

3 I hold the world record for catching the largest Black Marlin off the coast of Africa in 1981

4 I have icefished in every Canadian Province except Prince Edward Island

5 I like GLazed Donuts dipped in tomato juice

6 I still use the name I was born with sometimes, but you would need to check the bulletin board at the Post office for my list of alias

7 John from Hu9ll is my lovechild from an encounter during an evening of music and cheap wine. I still send him anonomous birthday presents, ie hamsters, bears, curry, etc.

8 I once fell in love with a dairy cow named Flossie on Oaklet's herd, and he banned me from the premises, filing charges of alienation of affection as it was his fiance' (How was I to know?)

9 I once extracted teeth from a guy named Nicky Hopkins, who was playing keyboard for the Stones in the late 70s

I am an incurable liar and only one of these statements is actually true.