When I was at school I think we had more injuries from the sticks we threw up into the trees in order to bring the conkers down.

We had a huge playing field at the back of the school with a massive row of chesnut trees.

Maybe we should have trained skwyreills to do the job then they would not bother jOhn these days.

We had rules too, no baked or vinegared chesnuts to be used when playing conkers and we were allowed to put knots in the string to count the number of wins. My old man used to go loopy when he'd found out I'd been at his tool chest to nick drills to make a string hole.