We had a great conker tournament in our village pub a few years ago. There were no injuries but it was very messy. (Better done outside I think)

Here's a good song about conkers (Does that make this a music thread?)


Katy the conqueror
Sandra Kerr

Katy went walking on an autumn day
Some boys were swinging conkers and she asked to play
They took a look at Katy and said Go Away
Conkers is no game for a girl
Katy smiled and said I'm just as good as you
And anything that you can do well I'll do to
I'll find myself a conker and before I'm through
I'll have a conker that will conquer the world


Katy's conker it really was a whopper
Katy's conker theres nothing that can stop her
They call her Kate the conqueror cause Katy is the girl
With a conker to conquer the world

Katy stood beneath the spreading chestnut tree
She chose the biggest conker there that she could see
She took a stick and brough it down so skillfully
Just the way you would expect from a girl
She took it home and baked it in the oven hot
She soaked it in some vinegar she used the lot
She made a hole strung the string and tied the knot
In the conker that could conquer the world

Look boys said Katy heres a big surprise
She whirled the conker round and round before their eyes
She said bring on your conkers any shape or size
Remember conkers is no game for a girl
Now bits of broken conker soon lay everywhere
And boys with open mouths could only stand and stare
For on the battlefield was Katy standing there
Swinging the conker that could conquer the world

Now Katy and her conker could do nothing wrong
And when she played for England they all came along
All the boys she'd beaten came to cheer her on
Their Kate the conqueror not only a girl
When she played for Europe they said you'll go far
Then she became world champion and quite a star
Next year I hear that she is off to Mars
With her conker that could conquer the world