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Lyr. Add: LONG CORN DODGER
Neal Morris

Well, the doctor, he's a dodger;
He's a long corn dodger,
And the doctor, he's a dodger,
And he's a dodger, too.
He'll go to see his patients and give a dose of pills
And the next thing you know,
He's a-dodging for his bill.

Chorus:
And it's all a dodger;
It's a long corn dodger,
And it's all a dodger--
That's the way with the world.

Well, the lawyer, he's a dodger;
He's a long corn dodger,
And the lawyer, he's a dodger
And he's a dodger, too.
He'll plead your case
And he'll wish you well,
And the next thing you know,
Wish you in ---.

Well, the young girl's a dodger;
She's a long corn dodger,
And the young girl's a dodger,
And she's a dodger, too.
She'll spend every time
With the powder and the paint
To make a boy think
He's a-getting what he ain't.

And the old maid's a dodger,
She's a long corn dodger,
And the old maid's a dodger, too.
She'll spend every time A-primping and a-painting.
If she can't catch a beau,
She'll catch a spell of fainting.

Well, the boys, they're a dodger;
They're a long corn dodger,
And the boys, they're a dodger,
And they're a dodger, too.
They'll go to see the girl
And they'll tell that they love her,
And the next thing you know,
They're a-dodging for another.

And the Baptist, he's a dodger;
He's a long corn dodger,
And the Baptists they's a dodger,
And they're a dodger, too.
They'll drink their wine
And liquor, too.
They'll drink it all up
And say, "There hain't none for you."

And the Methodist's a dodger;
They're a long corn dodger,
And the Methodist a dodger,
And they're a dodger, too.
They'll talk about Hell
And Heaven on high,
And the next thing you know,
They're a-dodging for the pie.

And the Campbellite's a dodger;
He's a long corn dodger,
And a Campbellite's a dodger,
And he's a dodger, too.
He's got his religion,
And he don't know where he got her,
And he'll swear the way to Heaven
Is through a hole of water.

Well, the Holiness a dodger;
They're a long corn dodger.
Well, the Holiness a dodger,
And they're a dodger, too.
They'll jump and roll
And whoop and yell,
For everybody else
Is a-going to hell.

Well, the infidel's a dodger;
He's a long corn dodger,
And the infidel's a dodger,
And he's a dodger, too.
Swear there ain't no Hell,
Nor Heaven on high,
But he'll get a shaking up
In the sweet bye and bye.

Mr. Morris: "Now if I left anybody out, I didn't aim to."
Dr. Wolf: "Tell the name of the song."
Mr. Morris: "That's 'The Long Corn Dodger,'"

Long Corn Dodger
The Wolf Folklore Collection. Recorded 1959, Mountain View, Arkansas, by Neal Morris.