That's a good question, Jerry, and well worth thinking over. My thoughts on this: It's not possible to know whether one has given or not (you can *think* you have given, when in fact maybe you haven't; you can think you haven't given, when in fact it turns out you *have*, because someone tells you about it).

I can't know whether I have given, BUT I certainly know when I have *received*, and it is such a good thing to point that out to the giver and thank them, because only then will they know about their giving !

I had a lovely reminder of the importance of this the other day. I'd been teaching a drama lesson with a group of 7 year olds. We had been acting out the adventures of "Grannie Mainland" arriving for a holiday on a remote Scottish island. Standard kind of dramary teachery stuff, not what I would call especially 'giving'. At the end of the lesson, one girl came bounding up to me, totally glowing and her eyes shining: "Oh, I LOVED what we've been doing. Thank you so much. I LOVE this." She clearly hadn't planned to say this, it just burst out of her spontaneously.

It's not up to me to decide or know when I am "giving" - but lovely to get and to give affirmations such as that one. Nothing nicer than the feeling that you have been in the right place at the right time and had a positive effect.

- jeanie