We fairies may not be the most pleasant beings in the world (?), but you try smiling with a bunch of pine needles irritating your rectum. Not to mention the branch they are attached to. And the tinsel. And the baubles. That imitation snow stings as well.

You wait DtG 'till there's a bunch of us after our Christmas do, all stuffed with sprouts and flying over YOU. Loosen a fairies' bowels a treat do sprouts. Vermin indeed.

Dave the Gnome = Oak Goblindancer!