I am neither working class nor Yuppie, but a member of that strange white non-class that dwells on the outskirts of cities, called Suburbia. I was born in Orpington, a place with no character at all. However, we do have one thing of which we, or at least I, are/am proud - it is the birthplace of Nic Jones. My attempt to rename Orpington, Nicjoneston, has met, incredibly, with indifference.