HEy, hey, guys!! This IgNobel stuff is all haywire -- this is important research!!!

If it is true that devoting airtime to C&W increases the suicide rate, then the Homeland Security department has a serious challenge to answer -- finding the opposite of Country Music -- perhaps it is 19th Century Songs of Empire from the UK, or maybe it is 1950's era brainless style music like Hokey-Pokey or Little Blue Man -- and immediately beginning a major program to flood the airwaves witht hat. Now, Connie Francis makes ME suicidal, so I don't believe that's the answer, but it might be...lessee...trumpet concerti? Or maybe barrelhouse blues?

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