LH,

Your work is like a two year old strumming the strings of an out-of tune guitar- IF you want to even call it a quasi-sonnet. It does not have the requisite structure, rhyme, or even intent of a sonnet.

"So I just went for the basic structure, ignoring the necessary rhyming rules, and went with stream of consciousness. I just wrote whatever came to mind."




That said, there are parts I like a lot. Just one question: Shouldn't Drucilla be a Nreiad, if associated with a viaduct?

"The reconciliation of your passive yet fortuitous virtue? " is not bad, but NOT iambic pentameter...


I do not know why so many here cannot deal with structure. Iambic Pentameter is really not hard to deal with. Or is it just that, being a rule, you decide to violate it? That is ok, but PLEASE don't call it a sonnet when it is not.

BeardedBruce, King of England ( per Giok)



"So I just went for the basic structure, ignoring the necessary rhyming rules, and went with stream of consciousness. I just wrote whatever came to mind."