big difference between "talking about sex" and 'talking sexy', and many folks are not real comfy with either. Sex is one of those subjects where many worry about their image if they say the wrong thing.
I spent 3 years working in an "adult" book store and got used to images, language, gadgets, opinions, fetishes...and just generally hearing folks ask, tell and worry about their sex lives, lack thereof, and wish lists.....such variety we have in humans!

What I learned is that sex is a lot like music....some folks like to create tunes & lyrics, some like only following or listening to what has already been done, some do well in harmonies with others while others MUST direct and/or choose the tune. Likewise, some like 'visuals'(live or pictures) while others like stories and imagination with the images only in their heads.

....and one of the most important things I learned is how awkward it is for many folks to compare and sort out these varied approaches when they are trying to form relationships, because there has been, up to now, few avenues for 'standard' comparison of views and attitudes, other than gossip in peer groups which leads to SUCH bad information sometimes!...but in the last few years, the internet/WWW has begun to change all that....people are finding like minded souls and developing their 'interests' BEFORE they meet others. This can be good AND bad, but at least opportunities are widening...


wow...I do go on, hmmm?