Well, Sandra dear, you sure you don't want to sit on my lap? Oh well, nevermind me then I am just a dirty old man or am I? I may be a dirty old woman as well. Hmmmm. Interesting thought. Anyways, I have tracked down something for you and am waiting for the rest. I'll give you a hint: it is something black and hard, flammable and comes from the hills of Virginia. Just kidding.