My dear sir:

It has come to our attention that you have not yet posted any hints as to what you might enjoy receiving for Christmas. Your Santa has asked me, Q. Marley Elvenson, to remind you in the nicest possible way that should we not receive some clue, however slight, we will be forced to take Certain Steps.

Your Santa has further directed me to state, quite unequivocally, that should she or he not have received such clues no later than 12 o'clock midnight, GMT, Sunday, October 31, 2004, you will be "damned lucky to get anydamnedthing at all" (quotes Santa's).

Thanking you for your prompt attention to this matter, I remain,

Your obedient servant,
Q. Marley Elvenson, QC, OBE, BRB