My dad was deaf, he spent a long time in hospital, one time I was visiting him, when the nurse asked him "have you moved your bowels today", he replied=
"I haven't moved nowt, my wife put all my stuff in that cupboard when I came in"

another time, I visited him, and pointing to an asian doctor he said
"hey son, that darkie over there shoved his finger up my arse this morning"
I did not know what to say to that, so just said "Oh"!