True conversation, that happened when I was getting ready for work, running late, and had to completely change clothes before leaving. The phone rings.

"Hello?"
"Hi! This Mark from Smitty's Siding! Wouldn't you like to enjoy the benefits of vinyl or aluminum siding on your home? We have a special offer...."
"You're selling siding?"
"Yes! And we have a special offer...."
"I think that anyone who sells stuff over the telephone catches their t**ds, puts little sticks in them, and freezes them as t**dsicles. Do you do that?"
(click)